


Multitude

by MSupernatural



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: AU, Adalind is not good in this, Dimension Travel (sort of), F/M, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Misandry, M/M, Nick's life, Pay special attention to Internalized Homophobia, Slow Burn, Straight Nick (at first)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-07-18 07:47:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7305916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSupernatural/pseuds/MSupernatural
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick's life has never been exactly easy, but since he became a Grimm, it has definitely taken a turn for the worse. He might not be aware of it, but an unpleasant turn of events during a case is about to change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The case

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. Lately I've been reading lots of Renhardt stories and this story came up. It's not beta-ed because I don't have a beta. If there's anyone interested, I'll definitely need the help. 'Till then, please ignore the mistakes and errors. And considering the fact that I'm not from an English speaking country, they're bound to happen, sadly.
> 
> This beginning is more of a prologue.

Nick has never been one to reflect on his own happiness, he either was happy or not. Despite everything that he had been through so far, Nick generally believed himself to be happy, and that was it, he never dwelled on it any further. 

Sure, he did lose his parents when he was very young, or at least believed he had lost them, but his aunt still took him in. Sure, his aunt was quirky and somewhat cold, but she did raise him. Sure, he has never had many opportunities to have relationships, but he still had had Juliette, and this new... dance he was having with Adalind could lead somewhere. Still, Nick would say he was happy.

Dealing with everything he had to deal during the time when he was a uniform and then a detective, and finally as a Grimm, he knew his situation could have been worse. In fact, dealing with cases and murders was one of the things that made him happy. He could save people, or maybe he could give people Justice, something the world desperately needs.

Too many people die because of greed. Too many people die because of prejudices. Too many people die because of misunderstandings. And ever since Nick became a Grimm, he has found out that too many people die because of petty whims and irracional, inhuman instincts. 

The case he and Hank were working on represented only one more of these cases. The murder of a middle-aged waitress by the (probable) hands of her latest boyfriend, a young craftsman who, after being pressured by Hank at his workshop, managed to send a heat wave which incapacitaded Hank- probably the same way he had killed his girlfriend, considering her third degree burns- and took off.

After checking if Hank was okay, Nick ran after the man, one Dennis Oleg, through the streets of Portland. While they were that far from downtown, this area wasn't very active, which was a good side. However, considering how close this specific street was to both his and Juliette's house and Rosalee's Spice Shop, Nick knew the area quite well, so he knew the guy had been caught as he took a turn, entering an alley that Nick knew to be a dead end.

Panting, Nick came to a stop as soon as he entered the alley. It was narrow with tall buildings on its sides. Cop training made Nick raise his gun and check the fact that there was no way the suspect could escape or hurt him before he focused on the man, close enough to the end of the small alley to touch the wall, his back to the entrance and Nick.

“Mr. Oleg, turn around, you're under arrest.” Nick said, his voice firm and his gun still pointed at the man.

At first, the man didn't do anything, no even showed any signs of having heard the order as he merely continued looking at some point higher up the wall by the end of the alley. There was nothing, no stairs or cracks he could hold on to, that could help him climb the four or five storeys high building, but Nick most certainly wasn't going to relax: he had seen wesen escaping in less beneficial situations. Who knew, he could grow wings or something.

As Nick drew his breath to call the man's attention again, he finally turned. He was still panting, which showed Nick he wasn't exactly used to running that much. That is, until he noticed the suspect wasn't exactly panting but sobbing, his face a mess because of the tears that covered it. 

“Grimm...” The man's whisper wouldn't have been heard if it wasn't for the silence around them and Nick's enhanced hearing.

Nick was taken aback. First, how did the man know he was a Grimm? Despite the fact that he had been suspicious that the man was wesen, considering the heat wave and all, he had been investigating the workshop when Hank had been attacked, so even if Oleg had woged then, he and Nick hadn't been looking at each other. Did his reputation preceed him that much?

Second, why was the man crying? Not only crying, no, Nick noticed, he was positively sobbing, his face a mix of desperation and utter sorrow. Was that regret? Fear? Either way, Nick didn't remember any time during his career in which a suspect had been this... unstable before. A few tears, sure, but a downright (albeit silent) bawl? That was a first.

Before Nick could say anything, though, the man finally woged. His creature side was very similar to Glühenvolk, the differences being that their rather larger blue eyes and lilac glow made him less extraterrestrial and more beautiful, in the way that you would never tire looking at it. Before Nick could be captivated by the wesen's face, though, he felt the wave of heat, which immediately made him raise the arm which wasn't holding his gun to cover his face.

However, the heat wave wasn't strong enough to hurt him like it had hurt Hank. Actually, it felt much like a summer breeze, much welcome considering the fast approaching winter. Maybe he wasn't close enough to the guy to be hurt, considering the five or six feet between them. Still, he didn't lower his arm.

“Stop it!” Nick shouted at the man. “Stop it or I'll shoot!”

The suspect took a larger breath and Nick prepared himself to shoot, but instead of a heat wave, the man turned back to his human side. He wasn't exactly crying anymore, but his face still held a deep sorrow, a mourn that made Nick uncomfortable.

“I didn't kill her, Grimm.” he said, his voice still low. “I swear I didn't kill her.” he looked down at his own hands as Nick watched him. 

“You will have the opportunity to defend yourself.” the detective found himself saying. “You are under arrest for hurting my partner, but you will have-” 

The man was already shaking his head. “No, my time has come, I know it.” he said, effectively interrupting a now confused Nick. “I wouldn't kill her, Grimm, even if she didn't let me be happy.” the man took one step back, his back hitting the wall behind him, which made Nick take a few steps ahead, closing the distance between them a bit. He noticed then that the suspect was sort of using the wall to support himself, much like he was about to collapse if he didn't have anything to hold.

Before Nick could decide what to say next, the man looked into his eyes again, and once more Nick was taken aback by the suffering in them. He then looked down again. 

“Do you know happiness, Grimm?” The man asked the stunned detective. “Are you happy, Nick?”

That made Nick take a step back. “How... How do you know my name?” Nick asked.

“You think you are happy, but you are not.” the guy seemed to ignore Nick's question.

“What are you even talking about?” the detective growled raising his gun a little bit.

“Maybe with this you will finally be happy, Nicky.” The man said with a shaky, small smile that was gone fast. The endearment from the complete stranger honestly freaked Nick out. He took another step back, lowering his gun a bit as the man continued speaking. “Of course I'm sad. I've seen many futures before, but it's finally my time and I won't see any futures anymore. But I'm happy for you, of course.”

Nick finally decided that the man must have been high on something, but he couldn't make himself stop him. “You don't deserve any of this, Nicky.” Oleg said, shaking his head again slightly.

The man finally lifted his head again, staring at Nick's eyes once again. His eyes shone blue again as he woged once more, and despite the sorrow that still filled his whole face, he smiled. “Good luck, Grimm.”

The man lunged at Nick with a speed that the Grimm hadn't been expecting. Quickly raising his gun, Nick shoot before he could aim. Despite being hit, the man didn't stop, crashing at the detective and sending them both to the dirty ground. Nick expected burning heat or maybe claws, but he didn't feel anything. As he looked up, gathering the strength to throw the man from him, he saw those eery eyes still staring at him. He also felt the man give his last sigh before he closed his eyes and somehow the Grimm knew he was dead.

The whole alley exploded and Nick knew no more.


	2. Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick wakes up to find himself near one of the people he'd rather not see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: So, I have to admit something: I haven't watched Grimm since the middle of season 4. In fact, I stopped watching it after the episode by the end of which we saw the Sneak in which we discovered that Adalind was pregnant and it was Nick's baby. It didn't sit well with me at all, and the mere thought of where the story is heading to quite frankly makes me sick. So, sorry if I get things wrong, everything I write about canon is based on what I could gather on Renhardt stories and Wikipedia. And considering I can't read more than a few lines without feeling like I'm gonna puke, it's not a lot (TBH, when I read what happened in the last 3 episodes, I was heartbroken for hours. Renard has always been my favorite character, and I hate what is going on with him. I still hope it's not what it seems, but I don't think I'll like what's coming). So I decided not to read anything canon anymore, otherwise I would have stopped reading/writing anything related to Grimm. I'm sorry if you like where the story is going, and I promise I won't bash it (much), but I am going to change it, as it is, to me, rotten. Please, bear with me if I say something about canon that sounds off. Canon won't stay that way for long in this story.

Nick woke slowly, which wasn't uncommon at all. He has always had a very slow start, ever since he became an orphan. The months after Nick's parents' supposed deaths were expectedly hard for him, causing a massive insomnia that still afflicted him. So, whenever Nick woke up he did it slowly, his brain barely processing his most basic needs. For instance, right now, Nick's bladder was about to burst, unless he got up and went to the bathroom  
With a low groan, his head heavy and his eyes shut, he left the comfortable bed and headed to the only door he was able to see when he blinked a couple of times before he closed his eyes again. He sort of dragged himself to the bathroom and barely saw the toilet through his rapid blinks. Unable to keep himself standing, Nick sat down to pee, feeling the uncomfortable and cold stone-like surface of the seat of the toilet. That's when something registered as weird to him. 

Opening his eyes in spite of himself, Nick found himself looking at a very different toilet indeed. He had seen this model before, of course. It was stony and unbelievably expensive for something so uncomfortable. He did remember how both he and Juliette had joked about its undoubtedly hard and cold material - marble, maybe?- and unreasonable price. He also remembered both he and Juliette secretly wanted to buy it.

Finally registering the fact the bathroom of his new apartment most definitely did not have one those toilets, Nick looked around and finally finished waking up. The bathroom he was in was spacious and white, unquestionably expensive and luxurious looking. With a start, he realized he had never been in this bathroom before, and he had virtually no idea how he had gotten there. 

Having quickly finished his business there, Nick stood up and flushed, looking around. Now that he was finally awake, the slightest bit of desperation started to seep into him as he tried to identify the bathroom he was in. From the beautiful 2-person bathtub to the huge mirror next to the equally huge closed brown door, Nick had no idea where he was. Had he gone drinking? Even if he had, he wouldn't have crashed at the girl's house, for sure. That was just rude. Not to mention Nick was not one to have casual flings like this. He was most definitely naked, though, so the explanation would have to come later, when his mind wasn't too fogged by sleep.

The window in the bathroom over the bathtub was far too high for him to look through and there weren't clothes in the pristinely clean bathroom, only a few rolled up white (so much white was definitely starting to give him a headache) towels. Swiftly grabbing one and using it to cover his own lower body, Nick did the only thing he could think: he left the bathroom.

The bedroom in which he had been previously was also big and expensive looking. While the bathroom was almost completely white, though, this bedroom was way darker in color, most of its furniture being either black or dark gray. The walls were probably a dark shade of blue, but it was difficult to see as the only window was covered by a thick curtain. If he hadn't been in a completely unknown situation and place, Nick would have admired the room for its beauty and unquestionable good taste.

The first thing Nick noticed was the fact that his clothes were scattered all around the floor. With a face, he picked up his boxers from near the bed, putting them on. Nick detested using dirty clothes again, but he was not home so there was nothing he could do. Following the trail of clothes, picking each item and putting each of them on, the Grimm's stomach kept dropping deeper each time. There was no doubt what he had done here the previous night, as his clothes led him to door, the haste clear. Funny thing, he didn't feel as if he had used his... parts. He was sated, alright, but sex had never been very important to him, so there was that.

The corridor to which the door led was somehow a bit familiar, but Nick didn't actually recognize it immediately. It felt like he had entered an old memory, as if he had been in this exact corridor years before, but he probably hadn't been there for long or more than once. Either way, his hazy memory told him the other side of the corridor led him out, so that's where he went.

Upon leaving the corridor, Nick stopped, frozen in place. “Shit!” he exclaimed as an unpleasant cold crept up both his back and his face.

The impressive view was the first thing he saw. Portland looked beautiful in the morning, and Nick was seeing a big part of it from high up. 16 floors high up, to be exact. The cleanly decorated room had had a few additions to it since the last time he had been there, in fact, it looked more comfortable and less intimidating, but dread still filled Nick as he recognized the place. What was he even doing here? As far as he knew, nobody even lived here now?

“Nick?”

The fright was so strong and the voice so unexpected that Nick actually gasped loudly, taking a step back into the corridor as his heart beat fast enough that it hurt. He immediately recognized the voice, of course. 

Before he could muster the courage to get back into the room, Renard appeared in front of him, obviously ready to work. His captain, or rather, mayor now, looked both surprised and worried, but upon looking at him, he seemed to calm himself down. He did raise an eyebrow, though.

“Are you okay?” Renard asked, his voice both concerned and semi-amused.

Nick could only gape as a stupid fish. Somehow he managed to nod, but before he could say anything, Renard turned around, going back the direction he had probably come from. As if in a daze, Nick followed him, trying to form a question, a sentence, a sound, anything that he could use to ask Renard what the hell was going on here.

“I'm sorry I can't stay any longer.” Renard said before Nick could come up with anything. The man was gathering his stuff and heading to the front door. Before he left, though, he turned around, meeting a bewildered Nick. Renard turned his head a bit to the side, a worried look setting on his face. “Are you sure you are okay, Nick?”

Nick could only splutter indignantly, trying to decide between saying something, asking something or directly decking his former captain already. “What the hell is going on?” He finally managed to say, his voice cracking horribly even to his own eyes, making the Grimm internally cringe.

Renard seemed surprised by the display of such anguish and anger, which only bewildered Nick more. “Are you genuinely upset that I have to go to work?” the zauberbiest asked with a frown. “You’re also supposed to be at the precinct, you know?” Renard looked at his own wristwatch. “In fact, you were supposed to be there 15 minutes ago.”

That finally snapped something inside Nick as he finally lunged forward, trying to grab Renard. The bastard wasn’t going to escape him this time.

For some reason, though, Renard didn’t seem very surprised by the fact that Nick was coming towards him. In fact, he seemed to step forward as well, and something dark and ugly lifted its head inside Nick’s chest as he felt the start of another melee.

However, as soon as they crashed, Nick realized Renard’s posture was not one of a fight at all, which sort of stunned the Grimm enough that he froze as Renard enveloped him in his arms. Before Nick could make up his mind if he was going to use his head to smash the bastard’s nose or if a knee to the groin would suffice, Renard relaxed in his arms, his hold not too tight but not too slack either. One of his large arms held Nick’s waist and the other went around as a heavy but gentle hand held his head. 

A hug. Unquestionably a hug. A hug from Renard. Black Claw Renard, SOB Renard who had lied to him and taken his family away from him.

And yet, for a couple of dreadful seconds, Nick could not do any of the self-defensive blows he so desperately wanted. The situation was so absurd that he only then pushed the man from him. However, when he pushed the man off of him, Renard was already letting go of him, which sort of made it seem like he had just broken their hug.

“I’m sorry I have to go.” Renard said with a smile. “If I weren’t late too, I would show you just how sorry I am.” Renard said with suggestive wink that made Nick’s eyes widen so much his eyebrows hid under his bangs. Renard, the bastard, laughed as he left, a happy ‘bye’ being said over his shoulder. 

Seething, Nick decided against following the guy and demanding him to tell him what he had done. Had Renard drugged and raped him? He wouldn’t put it past the man, in his honest opinion. But now that sleepiness was completely gone, Nick couldn’t feel any symptoms of having been drugged, which he knew only suggested he hadn’t been drugged at all. Even thinking about being raped by Renard made him sick, but he trusted the fact that his body wasn’t aching to tell him nothing had happened. Still, he couldn’t remember exactly what had happened the previous day.

Rubbing his face a bit and trying to come up with an explanation for it all, Nick came to the conclusion that he definitely did not want to stay at Renard’s place for a minute longer. A quick glance to his watch made him curse. He was most definitely late, and after fighting with the former captain and now mayor of Portland, he couldn’t let anything else into his record.

Quickly he gathered his key and cellphone from the same spot near the entrance door where Renard had gathered his things, and left. He thought about closing the door, but he perversely decided to leave it open. It was a luxurious condo, so he doubted anything would be stolen, but a guy can dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Super Special Thanks for JollyCat for doing the beta for me!!


	3. A case

By the time he arrives at the precinct, Nick is more than half an hour late. As usual, the place is crowded, people coming and going. Greeting Sergeant Wu, who had a pile of files on his arms, Nick sat in front of his computer and turned it on without really paying attention to what he was doing, Renard still on his mind. Had the bastard really hugged him? Was it even possible he'd seen Renard wink at him? And how the hell had he ended up in his _oh, so fancy_ apartment? One that Nick was certain he had sold months before?

“Nick?” Upon hearing his name, Nick looked over to the other side of the table where Hank was sitting. “Is everything okay?” His partner asked with a small smile.

“Yeah,” Nick answered, a bit confused still. He shook his head a bit before moving on. “Yeah, I just…” He trailed off, turning back to his computer. He kind of hoped Hank would leave at it, as he didn’t want to talk about Renard or the previous night just yet. Apparently it wasn’t his lucky day at all.

“Hey, you know I’m not the most observant guy around,” Hank said, his smirk giving place to a frown. "but I’m pretty sure you’re wearing the same clothes you were yesterday. What happened, man?”

Nick sighed, turning to his friend. “I didn’t sleep at home.” A half-truth. He surely did not want to explain to Hank were he had slept, and he sure as hell did not want to go through the night. 

“Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?” Hank said, his eyebrow going up.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nick viciously rebutted, turning back to his friend.

“Easy there, tiger, I’m not the one you’re angry with.” Hank raised his hands, his face a frown.

Nick took the conscious effort to breathe deeply, calming himself. He couldn’t take it out on Hank now, could he? “Sorry, Hank.”. The Grimm lay back on his chair and rubbed his face while his friend and partner watched him, still wary of Nick’s sudden sour attitude. “I can’t believe I’ve been awake for less than one hour.”

“Whatever, man, just… chill out, okay? I know you guys rarely have problems with each other, but leave your issues with the Captain out of work, will you?” 

Nick frowned, but his partner did not see it, as he was once more typing something on his computer. Before the younger man could say anything, though, he was startled by a folder being thrown on his table.

“You’ve got a case.” Said Wu with a smirk, knowing he had effectively started Nick. “16-year-old girl, Susan Simon. Her body was found by parents in her room.”

“You’re sick, you know that? You tell us that with a smile on your face!” Hank said, his face twisted in disgust. Wu only shrugged, his smirk not coming off as he sat on a part of Nick’s table.

“Wait ‘till you see the pictures. She was badly mangled; it’s possible it was an animal attack.” Wu said, crossing his arms. “No animal I know, though, so I thought you two could give it a go. It seems like one of those jobs.”

After that, he stood up and left, whistling, leaving both detectives stunned on their seats.

“I swear to god, sometimes I think we work with a psychopath…” Hank exclaimed, shaking his head a bit.

“I don’t doubt it,” Nick said with a sigh as he stood up. Hank followed closely, catching up before they left the precinct. 

On a silent agreement, both of them headed to Hank’s truck. The silence in the car was a bit oppressive, and both of them wanted to say something, but neither had the courage, and soon they arrived at the scene.

GRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMM

It took the detectives just a couple of minutes to get to the house in which the murder had been committed. As soon as they entered the house, a uniform beckoned them to where a crying couple was, in the middle of their living room.

“You must be Mr. and Mrs. Simon.” Nick said, his voice soothing and serious, the way he normally talked to victims' families, as he approached them. The couple nodded as they moved to sit on the sofa, both of them gesturing for the detectives to sit in front of them. “I'm Detective Burkhardt, and this is Detective Griffin.” As Nick spoke and sat, Hank only turned to look at him.

“I'd better investigate the scene. You talk to them.” Hank whispered so that only his partner could hear him. Upon Nick's nod, he offered his condolences to the Simons before following the uniform out of the living room.

“First of all, I'm really sorry about Susan.” Nick said, his eyes sad and his voice low. “And I'm sorry to put you through this now, but I have some questions.”

“We don't care, as long as you catch whoever did this to my little girl.” Mrs. Simon said with a sniff. Her husband held her close as they both tried to calm themselves.

“We won't rest until we do, Mrs. Simon.” Nick said, offering them a small packet of tissues that he always kept with him for moments like this. The man politely refused, but the mother got one. Nick gave them a moment to themselves as he analyzed the room. This was a good area of Portland, and judging by the decoration of the house, there was no doubt the Simons were at least well off. As he noticed they had managed to calm themselves a bit, Nick moved to sit a little closer to the edge of the armchair, effectively shortening the space between himself and the couple.

“Would you like some tea?” Mrs. Simon asked as she stood. The offer seemed a bit off to the detective, principally at that specific moment, but he only thanked her and she sat back down with a wave of her hand.

“Can you please tell me what happened today?” he softly asked.

“We didn't spend the night here.” Mr. Simon said as his wife quietly tried to clear her eyes. “We visited my mother in Seattle, and when we arrived here...” he trailed off, instead focusing on his wife, gently rubbing her arm, both trying to comfort her and trying to comfort himself.

“When was the last time you talked to Susan?” Nick carefully asked after he gave the couple some time to calm down.

“Last night. I called her to check up on her.” Mr. Simon answered. “We were in Seattle visiting my mother, Susan stayed because she was studying. We left really early, she was probably sleeping-” At that, the man chocked.

“Did anybody stay with her?” Nick asked.

“No, she was very independent. She would never have stayed with someone to take care of her.” this time Mrs. Simon answered. Nick nodded and took a few notes. He then braced himself in preparation for the next question.

“I hate to have to ask, but, did she have any enemies, anybody who would want to hurt her?” he asked. The woman's expression immediately closed.

“She was a teenager. How could she have anybody who'd want to murder her?” She asked, her voice full of contempt. 

“And you? Do you have any enemies that could try to use her to get to you?” The woman bristled while Mr. Simon only shook his head sadly. Nick took a few more notes.

“Was she alone during the night?” Upon hearing the question, Mr. Simon visibly winced while Mrs. Simon’s face turned sour. 

“Yes, she was.” The father answered, but the way he spoke suggested there was more to that. Mrs. Simon seemed about to comment on something, but she remained silently fuming.

“Anything you might want to add?” Nick tried to incite a more truthful answer, and that finally made the woman speak.

“She was alone.” She said, her voice poisonous, which sort of startled Nick. Why had her grief become anger like that? Turning to look at her husband, Nick noticed that he was looking somehow sadder and ashamed. Maybe…

“Mrs. Simon, I think I’m going to accept that tea now.” Nick said. The woman swiftly stood up and moved to where the Grimm believed the kitchen was. Under his continuous gaze, the man fidgeted for a while before he finally caved.

“She had asked permission to bring a friend over.” Mr. Simon said. With a sniff, fresh tears rolled from his eyes. “Samantha Hornkip. Nina, my wife, doesn’t like Samantha, and they had an argument.” Nick only nodded and waited while the man seemed to recompose himself. He finally calmed himself again, speaking with a detached voice as he stared at the floor. “My daughter came out as homosexual to us last month.” At that, Nick sat up straighter, trying not to express anything, but not quite managing to keep a frown from his face. The man seemed oblivious, though, as he kept looking anywhere but at the detective.

“Samantha was her girlfriend. Nina didn’t accept it, she says-” 

“It’s unnatural and not right.” His wife cut him, finally returning with a small cup of tea, which she set on the coffee table next to the armchair Nick was sat on. She sat beside her husband again, crossing her arms, her face still closed.

“Don’t say that, Nina,” the man said, sounding a bit whiny.

“It’s the truth, Fred.” was her reply.

Deciding not to go there and ignore the woman’s comments, Nick used the chance to take a sip of the tea. Setting it back where it had been, the detective waited.

“Nick, can we talk for a moment?” Hank’s voice came from the stairs, effectively cutting the need to say anything.

With a sympathetic smile to the still distressed Simons and an offer of condolences, Nick stood and headed upstairs. Upon getting to the upper floor, the Grimm couldn’t help but notice the small stains in the front of one of the rooms, right next to where Hank was standing in the beginning of the corridor.

“Anything?” He asked as soon as his partner was close enough. 

“Not much. They were in Seattle, didn’t check on her today, but talked to her last night.” Nick answered, carefully sidestepping the small droplets of blood that led inside the room. “She was staying by herself, but had asked per…”

Nick trailed off as soon as he entered the room. It had obviously been a teenaged girl’s room, if the posters and decoration were anything to go by. However, it seemed as if a bloody tornado had met the ground specifically inside the room, as virtually every wall and piece of furniture had blood sprayed on them. The mangled body of the girl was lying on the bed in nothing but a bikini bottom and gashes on her belly, face, arms and legs.

“Pretty ugly, huh?” Hank said behind him as Nick stopped to look around. His stomach had become a small ball, and for the first time he was thankful he hadn’t had time to have any breakfast. 

Taking a deep breath, Nick moved around the room to try to understand what had happened there, being careful so as not to move or touch anything that could be evidence, which was hard, considering the quantity of blood all around the room. The wounds were deep and had been made by what appeared to be claws, but there was evidence of a few bite marks. Despite that, it was impossible to judge, only by looking, what animal could have done them. The bites were a bit too large to be a dog’s and too wide to be a bear’s. And the claws seemed to be too thick to be a feline’s, giving Nick the idea that they were more likely talons than claws.

The Grimm took some photos, certain that those marks had been made by some kind of wesen. Maybe with Monroe’s help he could find out against what he was actually fighting this time.

“So, you were saying?” Hank asked as soon as Nick stepped out of the room, having waited outside the whole time. 

“She was alone but had asked her parents for permission to let a friend come over.” The detectives nodded to the members of the forensic team as they met on their way out of the house. “Guess what? The mother wasn’t exactly happy with that.” Nick said as they moved through the yard. 

“Why is that?” Hank said as he moved to the other side of the truck. Once they were both settled, Nick answered.

“She had come out as to her parents during the weekend. Apparently the girl was her… girlfriend, I guess. She suspects the girl had something to do with it, as she believes she was the reason her daughter had become a… you know.” Nick said, moving uncomfortably on his seat. “They are going to send me the contact”. For a while, Nick only stared ahead, lost in thought, but upon noticing the silence in the car and the fact that Hank hadn’t even turned the car on yet, he turned to his partner, who was looking at him with a weird look on his face. “What?” Nick asked, shifting again on his seat. Hank only frowned, but refrained from saying anything before turning to look ahead, turning on the car and leaving.

“And the father?” Hank asked finally. It was Nick who frowned this time, but Hank didn’t see it.

“He seemed to be okay with it.” Nick said. “But it’s probably an act. Men most certainly do not respect gay people like that.” He added in an afterthought.

“What are you even talking about, man?” Hank exclaimed, frustration clear on his voice. Nick snorted.

“Come on, you’re a man too, you know that,” If anything that only frustrated Hank more.

“Nick, man, you know I’m your friend and all, but dude, you’re freaking me out already. What the hell is going on with you today?” 

“I’m freaking you out?” Nick asked bewildered. “You’re been weird the whole morning, dropping me all kinds of hints or something, and I’m freaking you out?”

“Hints, Nick?” Hank asked loudly, his face contorted in anguish, gripping the wheel with far more force than necessary. However, the detective took a deep breath and visibly tried to calm himself down, shaking his head a bit. “You know what? Whatever, man. I don’t care. Do whatever you want, say whatever you want.” 

After that, silence reigned once again in the car as Hank drove. Nick was positively fuming, angry that Hank had completely dismissed him like that after accusing him of… whatever he was accusing him of. He had been the one who had acted all weird all morning. Noticing how Hank had his lips in a thin line, though, Nick decided against continuing the conflict.

“Where now?” Hank asked, his voice somewhat showing the anger he was feeling. Nick decided to ignore him. If he wanted to pout like a man-child it was his problem. 

“Let’s head to the Spice Shop. Maybe they can help us.” Nick said simply, trying to convey as much anger in his voice as possible as well.

Hank turned a bit on his seat to glare at his partner, anger and incredulity mixing in his eyes, but he seemed to remember what he had said as he only shook his head again, but changing route to go to the Spice Shop as Nick had asked.

GRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMM

Traffic was surprisingly good for that time of the day, so it didn’t take them long to get to the store. As soon as Nick hopped out of the truck, his phone vibrated in his pocket. As Hank slowly and wearily left the car as well, Nick took his phone out to check what it was. He almost dropped it when he saw the message.

He most certainly did not have Renard’s number registered on his phone. At least he didn’t have his new number after the literal bastard had become the mayor of Portland. And yet, there it was. A telephone number under the name of _Sean_ (which alone made Nick seethe) had sent him a message.

Certain that it must have been a mistake, Nick opened the message and checked the information. To his chagrin, the photo associated with the contact was the smiling face of his late captain, which immediately made Nick consider breaking his phone into pieces. However, before he could decide how to do it, his eyes were drawn to the message that he had yet to read.

_'Did you forget how to close the door?'_

That made Nick smirk. Maybe he should send him something like, _no, I left it open, you son of a bitch_. Before Nick typed anything in, though, another message arrived.

_‘Nicholas Burkhardt, what were you thinking?’_

Nicholas Burkhardt? Nick snorted derisively. Who did this asshole think he was, his father? The bell of the Shop rang as Hank opened the door, which attracted Nick’s attention to his partner. Deciding Renard wasn’t important for now, Nick read the messages again and, with a small laugh and a shake of his head, put his phone away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thanks JollyCat for the valuable suggestions and corrections! And thanks for everybody who gave this a try!


	4. Tea Shop

The Spice Shop was uncharacteristically crowded. Some of the people were checking the cabinets while a few of them waited by the counter where a visibly tired Rosalee tried to get all their orders right.

Nick and Hank went towards the counter, waiting behind the small group of clients before they could get to Rosalee. Nick wanted nothing more than to help his friend, but he was pants at anything herbal, so he’d only make stuff harder for her. Still, he eyed her sympathetically, despite the fact that she hadn’t seen him yet.

As they got closer to the counter, though, Nick noticed the fact that some of the clients were actually looking at him. Some of their looks were furtive, careful. Some of them were wary, fearful. And some of them… Nick’d rather not dwell on. Either way, it didn’t take him long to notice that every single one of Rosalee’s clients at least glanced in his direction, while some of them downright stared at him like he was some kind of a freak, or a show, or maybe a freak show.

“Detectives!” Rosalee exclaimed, a tight and small smile on her lips, attracting Nick’s and some of the costumers’ attention to her. “Why don’t you wait for me in the other room, I’ll be right there.” She said, not waiting for a reply before going back to the conversation she had been having with an old woman whose gaze sort of freaked Nick out a bit.

A bit put out by Rosalee’s sort-of dismissive behavior, Nick moved to the room on the side, Hank slowly following him. The side room was thankfully empty of people, so Nick sat on the futon, finally relaxing. Hank, on the other hand, stopped by the door, seeming hesitant to move any further. Under normal circumstances, Nick’d have asked what was wrong with him, but considering their recent conversation, he refrained to comment on anything.

Nick took his iPhone from his pocket and unlocked it. Sweeping through his apps, he frowned. Where was the game he had been playing these days? He was sure he had played it recently, finally having given into Wu’s persistent nagging that he should try the game out. He shouldn’t have started, the game was indeed addictive. He’d played it for hours on his last day off. And yet, he thought as he raised his eyebrow, the stupid game was nowhere in his phone.

“Nick, what are we even doing here?” Nick put his phone away as he returned his attention back to his friend who was still hovering near the door, his body language screaming uncomfortable.

“Looking for the opinion of a specialist on wesen murders.” Nick replied simply, smirking as he thought of how much Monroe would be annoyed be annoyed by being called a specialist on that.

Hank, on the other hand, looked at him with a bewildered expression on his face. “A specialist on what?”

“Oh, come on, you know it is better if they take a look at the pictures, they understand these things way better than us.” Nick said as he rolled his eyes. Hank only looked more confused.

“Who? The apothecary? She understands murders better than us?” Hank asked, finally entering the room for real.

“You know well enough that she is way more than that, Hank.” Nick sourly replied. “Considering the fact that this murder was definitely caused by some wesen, we need her help, considering she is wesen.”

Hank took a deep breath and closed his eyes, obviously either trying to calm himself or find at least some patience. Nick seethed, feeling as if he was being treated like a baby.

“Look, man, I don’t even know that woman. And you keep repeating that word, wesen or something, as if it meant something to me, but it most certainly does not!” Hank said warily.

Before Nick could answer, though, Rosalee entered the room, effectively stopping whatever argument that was about to start.

“Sorry, help finally arrived, so I can talk to-” Rosalee stopped mid-sentence as she got near Nick and saw him sprawled on the futon in the back of the room. She raised an eyebrow. “-you?” She finished her sentence a question.

“Hey, Rosalee,” Nick said with an easy smile. Hank only nodded while the woman seemed a bit uncomfortable.

“Nick... Hum... Hi.” She said, turning slightly to eye Hank before looking back at Nick, as if asking what he was doing.

“So, we have this case we need help with.” Nick said as he stood up, taking his iPhone in his hand again. “Take a look at these photos, I'm sure this has been made by some kind of wesen, but I'm not sure-”

“Nick!” She interrupted him nervously, using her widened eyes to quickly point to Hank's general direction before widening them a bit more.

“What the actual hell is that wesen thing you're talking about?” Hank asked angrily, finally losing the rest of the patience he had. Nick followed closely behind.

“What kind of game are you playing today, Hank?” Nick asked hotly moving towards his friend, who took a step back before hardening himself, his face closing in a tight scowl.

“Hey, let's just calm down a bit, okay?” Rosalee said as she looked from Nick to Hank biting her lower lip anxiously.

“You know what? I don't have to stay here for this.” Hank moved back towards the door. “I don't know what you two are even talking about, and I don't know what you do to solve these nasty cases, but I don't care. I don't want to be in on it anyways.” He finally left the room, leaving an angry Nick and a stunned Rosalee behind.

“What do you think this is about?” Nick asked, relaxing a bit as he turned back to look at Rosalee. She gave him an incredulous look.

“What were you thinking talking about wesen stuff in front of him like that?” She spoke too loudly, louder than Rosalee normally talked to Nick.

“What?” Nick scratched behind his ear. “I don't know what he was going on about, he knows about wesen.”

“Does he?” She asked with a frown. “Last time I checked, you didn't want to know anything about you being Grimm.”

“Rosalee, what are you talking about? We've all discussed wesen stuff a thousand times with Hank!” Nick said, indignantly. Rosalee raised an eyebrow.

“Not that I remember, no.” She said, moving to organize some of the flasks on the table in the center of the room. Nick only stared at her while she tidied things up. “What are you even doing here at this time of the day? You know what your... presence does to the clients.”

Exasperated by both Hank and Rosalee's weird attitudes for the day, Nick decided to let it go for now. “Here, we have this case to solve today.” He passed his phone with the images opened to Rosalee. “I'm quite sure these marks were made by some kind of wesen, but I don't know which. I thought maybe you could help.”

Rosalee took one look at the picture before she put the cell phone down, her face a frown of disgust. “Another one of those, huh?”

“Another one?” Nick asked curiously as he received his cellphone back.

“Yeah, didn't you have a Panthera Preta attack last week?” Rosalee asked, her face still a frown. “Was the victim homosexual again?”

At that, Nick widened his eyes. “Yes, she was!”

Rosalee's expression changed drastically. She immediately got this look of pity on her eyes, her face showing sadness. “I'm sorry, Nick, that must be horrible for you-” Nick's blood boiled.

“What the FUCK are you talking about?” He said, moving fast so as to stand right in front of his friend. “What are you trying to insinuate, huh?” He asked viciously.

Rosalee immediately woged, her whole demeanor showing fear and submission, which in turn astonished Nick. He had never brought such a reaction from Rosalee before. Upon seeing him trying to control himself back, she changed back.

“I'm sorry, sir, I didn't want to-” She started.

“Shit, Rosalee!” Nick said, desperately grabbing the sides of his head as he turned around giving her his back as he moved back towards the center of the room. She just watched carefully. “What is going on today?” He asked as he turned back to look at her, his face a bit frantic. “Why are you calling me sir? Why do you think Hank doesn't know about wesen? What's happening?” He finished loudly.

Before the woman could make up her mind and say anything, though, Monroe entered the room.

“Hey, Rosalee, Mrs. Fowler is asking-” The blutbad stopped as soon as he saw Nick. Instead of his normal calm greeting, Monroe's face immediately closed, his eyes shining suspiciously red. “I'm sorry, I didn't know you had... company.” He said, cautiously moving to stand next to Rosalee.

“Hey, Monroe,” Nick said, which only got him a deeper scowl. Astounded by his friend's reaction, Nick watched as they both got closer, both of their demeanors defensive and protective.

“Again, Rosalee?” Monroe asked her, not so subtly. The fuchsbau was a bit more pervasive, but Nick was still able to see her tiny shrug. Monroe turned again to give the detective a sour look.

Feeling his head heavy and lungs painfully empty, Nick sat down on the closest chair, once again holding his head in his hands. He felt on the verge of crying, either from frustration or from desperation, he wasn't sure yet. This took the other two in the room by surprise.

“I don't know what's going on, I mean... Are you playing a prank on me? If you are, I think it's time you stop.” Nick finally said. At the bewildered looks on his friends' face, the Grimm closed his eyes again, whimpering lowly, which once more took the wesen by surprise.

“Look, Nick...” Rosalee said as she got a bit closer to the man, ignoring Monroe's warning look. “Why don't you explain to me what's exactly... different in your day, and I'll try to help you.”

Nick tried to sit up straighter, ignoring the ache he had been feeling on his lower back the whole day. “That's the thing, everything is weird! Everybody is acting strange, it's like none of you even know who I am or something,” Because his gaze was fixed somewhere in front of him, Nick didn't

see Rosalee's curious look or Monroe rolling his eyes. “The whole day has been weird, since I woke up, actually.”

“How?” Rosalee pressed, not unkindly.

“Hank's been weird, he honestly believes he doesn't know what wesen is.” Nick decided to ignore Monroe's mocking raised eyebrow. “Not to mention the insinuations of... whatever he was trying to insinuate. And then there's you. Calling me sir and stuff.” Nick said. This time he didn't miss Monroe's derisive snort. “Monroe's level of assholeness is unusually high too.” He finished a bit aggressively.

Monroe closed his fists and tightened his jaw, but didn't say anything because of the look Rosalee sent his way, that was somehow at the same time warning and pleading. Nick pointedly and childishly ignored them both.

“And then there is also the fact that I woke up in Renard's bed-” Nick was cut by another snort from Monroe, this time louder, derision clear. “What?” Nick asked as he stood up seething, finally fed up with his friend's attitude.

“That's not different at all.” Monroe said, not backing away despite Rosalee's attempt to control him. It was Nick's turn to close his fists. “Isn't that what you do? I mean, it's clear to us that you must have spent the whole night taking him up your ass.”

It was then that all hell broke loose and Nick punched Monroe in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another special thanks to JollyCat for doing the beta, and thank you for reading this story!


	5. Difference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Rosalee talk, and Nick finally finds out that things are not going to go easy for him.

Nick nursed his bloody nose, thankful that it at least wasn’t broken, even if barely. He was also thankful that Monroe seemed worse, with his split lip and actual broken nose, and that thought alone twisted something dark and unpleasant inside the Grimm. He was never one to just think such things about his friends without feeling bad.

Rosalee was trying to tend a worked-up Monroe who kept staring daggers at the detective. Nick realized he should also be thankful for the fact that Rosalee hadn’t kicked him out – at least not yet. She seemed about to do exactly that, and Nick had the nasty suspicion that it wasn’t exactly friendship that kept him there, which still baffled him.

“Look,” Rosalee managed to convince Monroe to go to the front of the store, which he did, albeit reluctantly and not before he sent a glare towards the other man. “I don’t know what’s going on, and I’m willing to try to help you, but only if you calm yourself down.”

“I will calm myself down once I understand whatever the hell is happening!” Nick retorted childishly, his voice nasal even to himself. He watched as Rosalee sat on the other side of the room, apparently ignoring the fact that he was still nursing his nose. It stung more than he would admit. He could take care of it himself, and would probably brush away any of Rosalee’s attempts to help him with his nose, but the simple fact that she just hadn’t offered like she normally made him sad. 

He immediately heard his aunt’s voice in his head, though, and berated himself for thinking Rosalee owed him anything. Typical male thinking, Nick thought sourly.

Rosalee exhaled, effectively attracting Nick’s attention. She seemed wary and tired, although Nick didn’t exactly understand why. “I don’t know what is wrong to you.” She waved her hand in his general direction, not really looking at him. “But, to me, you’re the one who is actually acting weird today.”

“How?” Nick said tiredly, deciding he had the obligation to hear her out, even if he didn’t want to.

“Well,” Rosalee bit her lower lip, something Nick didn’t quite remember her doing before. “You come here, of all places, instead of asking me to meet at the safe house.” _Safe House_? Nick thought with curiosity, but kept from interrupting. “Then, you talk about wesen stuff in front of Hank when you said you didn’t want him in the know about us. And finally you flip when Monroe mentions your relationship with Renard.” 

Trying in vain not to seethe at the mention that his relationship with Renard would have anything to do with something other than his fist being stuck somewhere else other than the bastard’s face, Nick close his hands into fists and clenched his jaw, but kept from saying anything. Rosalee didn’t seem to notice any of that, but she did seem to feel his anger, even if she didn’t show, refusing to look at him.

“I know you and Monroe don’t get along, I mean, it is understandable, but despite all the bickering it’s the first time you actually fought, and that’s diff-”

“Wait, wait!” Nick sort of shouted, unable to keep himself any longer. He startled Rosalee, who finally turned to look at him, her eyes wide. “What are you going on about? Rosalee, Monroe is my best friend.”

The snort took even Rosalee by surprise, as she was normally better at keeping her reactions to herself. This time, though, she was too distracted to hold it back. “Best friend? When have you even talked to him for longer than five minutes? And about something other than the fact that you don’t like or trust each other?” She tried but couldn’t suppress the scornful smirk on her face. The mere idea that Nick and Monroe could be best friends seemed preposterous. 

This took Nick by surprise yet again. He didn’t know what to say. Rosalee wouldn’t joke around like that. Sure enough they were friends, and liked to act silly sometimes, but pranking had never been her thing.

Once again Nick felt tired. It was barely noon and he was feeling more confused than he had been his entire life, and he just _couldn’t fucking stand it anymore_.

“I don’t even know what to say, Rosalee.” He said with a sigh. He rubbed his face with his hand, sighing again while the woman only watched, smirk gone. “I’ve been friends with Monroe for years now. Ever since I discovered that I am a Grimm, in fact. You should know that.”

“That you met Monroe right when you discovered you were a Grimm, I know.” Rosalee said with her voice low. That attracted Nick’s attention, making him lower his hands to look at her again. “But as far as I know, you two said some pretty nasty stuff to each other and you arrested him.”

“Hum, we wrestled a bit, but I most certainly did not arrest him.” Nick’s eyebrows were lifted in bewilderment.

“I’m pretty sure you did.” Rosalee’s posture was submissive and careful, which astonished Nick, but she didn’t back down, which didn’t astonish him. “I’ve even seen his record.”

Running his hand through his hair, the detective stood up again, startling the Fuchsbau. However, instead of approaching her, he started to pace. After a couple of seconds, he stopped and turned back to her.

“He told me what wesen and grimm mean.” He said as if he was checking it.

“Hum… You mentioned it had been your aunt.” She said instead. Nick let out a dry, humorless chuckle and resumed his pacing. “He has helped me in more wesen cases than I can remember.” 

“He actually told me he would never help you.”

“I presented him to you.” He said without stopping, refusing to think how much all this looked like a twisted oral test from when he was in college, or some kind of much elaborated joke or play.

“My brother did. Before… you know.” She trailed off, following him with her eyes as he still walked from one side of the room to the other.

“I was there for your wedding.” He said, desperation starting to settle in him, but Rosalee was already shaking her head.

“Not married yet.”

Finally Nick stopped a few feet in front of Rosalee. He looked into her eyes and bared his soul as he produced the last fact he could bring up about his friendship with Monroe.

“He was there when my son was born…” Nick said it with such emotion that his voice came low as a whisper, his eyes big and lip almost pouty, as if begging Rosalee not to take that away from him. But once again she was direct.

“You have a son?” She asked, her curiosity so genuine that it was clear she was actually surprised.

He knew Rosalee, or at least he thought he knew her, so he knew she wasn’t lying. Any of those answers seemed like lies to him. But if she wasn’t lying… was he?

“I’m not lying.” He said as he sat again, once more holding his head in his hands. He was proud of himself for not wincing when he sat. “I’m not lying.” He repeated, this time so low it seemed as if he was trying to convince himself of that. He looked back at Rosalee and she was looking at him with a sad, curious look. If there was pity in her eyes, he refused to see.

“Look, Nick… Why don’t you go home and rest? You must be tired-”

“No, no.” He interrupted her, waving his hand. The last thing on his mind was resting right now. “I mean, I am tired, but I need to understand what is going on, otherwise I am not going to rest at all.”

Reluctantly, Rosalee nodded, but that seemed to be worse for Nick. Rosalee had never given up so easily! 

“Has anything out of the ordinary happened to you recently?” Rosalee asked softly. Nick snorted.

“This whole day has been out of the ordinary, Rosalee,” He was not unkind, but he couldn’t keep his voice from being a little sour.

“But when did you feel that things were different?” Rosalee pressed a bit. Nick raised his hand to his chin in thought.

“Well, I could say waking up was _different_ enough.” He knew how mysterious and vague that sounded, but he definitely did not want to think about anything relating to the morning or the last evening. Refusing to acknowledge the discomfort sitting down was giving him, he stood up again and resumed his pacing. The burn wasn’t so bad anymore.

“What about last night?” 

That made Nick stop. He had been so focused on not letting himself think about whatever had happened the previous night that he didn’t realize he _couldn’t_ remember what had happened the previous night. In fact, now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the whole day. He knew it was Wednesday, and that didn’t feel off to him. He remembered Monday alright, and he knew Tuesday had passed, he just… couldn’t remember it. Had he woken up late? Had he worked at all? He couldn’t remember.

Now that he thought of it, back in the _bastard’s_ apartment, he had had the impression he couldn’t remember the previous night, but then he had other _things_ to worry about.

“I… don’t remember.” He finally admitted. Rosalee seemed thoughtful.

“Memory loss?” She suggested, as she watched Nick start pacing again. He shrugged.

“Possibly. I’m not sure. I don’t remember what I did yesterday, but I do remember that there was a yesterday,”

“That doesn’t explain the fact that you seem to have different memories,” Rosalee stood up and started browsing through the bookcase near the sofa. “There are a few zaubertränke that can cause memory loss, but I’m not familiar with any that can actually change one’s memory, so…” She trailed off as she got book after book from the bookcase. Nick just watched from where he was standing.

“This one wouldn’t take effect,” She whispered mainly to herself. “ _L’esprit ailleurs_ would have caused a coma,”

Nick tried to control his trembling hands. What was he going to do if all of his memories where false, different? 

“Maybe you should talk to someone who really knows you, they might help you remember things.” Nick didn’t realize he had asked the question out loud before Rosalee answered it without raising her eyes from one of the books.  
“Maybe you could help me.” He couldn’t help but suggest.

Rosalee seemed to tense up. She turned to the Grimm, her face empty. “Sorry, but I don’t really know you all that well.”

Nick groaned. “I can’t believe this is happening.” He groaned again, resuming his pacing. He just couldn’t keep standing in the same place. “Please, Rosalee, tell me this is just a prank. Please!” He pledged, not caring if his voice sounded whiny. The fuchsbau just stared at him humorlessly, which elicited another groan from the detective.

“You should look for information that only you would know. Maybe that will show you if things really are different.” She suggested carefully, as if she was trying not to offend him, which in turn ended up offending him anyway.

“Rosalee, first of all, you’re one of my best friends, whether you remember it or not. Or if I remember it or not.” He added immediately added when she opened her mouth, probably to contest him. She closed her mouth and continued to watch him. “You don’t need to be afraid of me. I’m not going to do anything to you. And if this is because I am a Grimm… Well, you should know that I’m a different kind of Grimm and that I would never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it.”

Rosalee didn’t seem convinced at all, but still she nodded to at least acknowledge the fact that she had heard it. It was possible that the fact that Nick had punched Monroe a couple of times just mere minutes before didn’t really make her feel safe. He couldn’t admit him being called… he’d rather not think about it. 

Rosalee bit her lip.

“Nick, maybe if you talked to Renard-”

“I’m not going to talk to that bastard, Rosalee.” Nick interrupted her immediately, his face closing. “That son of a bitch is trying to take my son away from me.”

“I don’t think you have a son, Nick.” Rosalee seemed nervous. Nick decided to give her some space and moved to the other side of the room. He felt his heart being squeezed when he saw how relieved she seemed because of that.

“I do, though.” Thinking about his baby made Nick smile, his eyes unfocusing. “Kelly. The cutest, happiest baby ever.”

Rosalee didn’t fully smile, but the curves of her lips went up. “I bet he is.” 

Nick nodded, taking his phone from his pocket. It’s funny how he had always been one to ridicule parents who kept showing pictures of their children around, but now that he had Kelly he was one of those. “Here, I’ll show you a picture.” He said with a smile.

However, as soon as he opened the album, he saw it was most definitely not his normal album. His smile was gone immediately None of the thousand pictures he had taken of Kelly were there. In their place there were very few photos that made his stomach turn upside down. Opening the first picture, he saw himself and Renard sitting side by side on what seemed to be a sofa. If his judgement was correct, that was Renard’s previous apartment.

His rage skyrocketed when he saw that both men staring at him where smiling, the bastard’s arm casually resting on his shoulders. He himself had his legs up and was leaning a bit towards the other man.

Trying not to think too much about what that picture meant, he deleted it. The next picture held both him and Renard again. This time they were thankfully apart, and there were a few people with them, but Nick wasn’t sure if he knew any of those. There was a guy by his side who was a bit younger than him that seemed vaguely familiar, but Nick didn’t really remember where from. 

The following picture had Nick alone, in front of what seemed to be the mirror at the station. He was wearing a uniform and was smiling his boyish smile. He had to admit it, he looked… good. Healthy. Rested. Ever since he found out he was a Grimm, he had been slowly becoming less and less the person he had once been. His eyes were constantly puffy, dark circles around them. Gone was his jovial attitude, even he noticed how hunched he had been walking lately. This photo had to have been taken at least some years before. Didn’t it?

As Nick swiped to the next photo, he felt bile rising. He put the phone away without further analyzing it. As an afterthought, he decided he should delete the picture, but once he took his phone out of his pocket, he thought about the picture again and gave up again, putting it back inside. He couldn’t stomach seeing it again.

He almost jumped right off of his skin once he saw Rosalee still sat in front of him, watching him with an eyebrow raised. He had completely forgotten that she had been there.

“So, different pictures than you expected?” Rosalee asked, not unkindly, before he could even say anything. Not trusting his own voice, he just shook his head. Rosalee nodded and stood.

“You really should talk to Renard, he might be able to help you.”

“No, not him.” He replied darkly. If his voice trembled, he ignored it, and the reason for it.

Rosalee sighed. “I’m sorry, then.”

The silence that covered the room was thick. Nick reflected on everything he had seen and heard the whole day. It wasn’t much at all, but it certainly made him think. Had his memories really been altered? Other than the discomfort that the photos had brought him, he didn’t feel… different. Displaced. He would feel at least offset if his memories had been changed, wouldn’t he? But still, he felt sickened by the photos, but his memories were clear and very much real to him.

“What if…” He pondered. “…it isn’t that my memories have been modified, but I’m just seeing things… differently? Like, I’m hallucinating or something?” Rosalee seemed to consider it for a bit, and despite her obvious disbelief, she nodded, probably because she saw his resolution on believing that this whole existence was made up.

“It’s possible. I’ll have to research, but I need some time. Meanwhile, if you don’t want to ask Renard, you should try to find someone who spent the day with you yesterday.”

Nick thought for a while, ignoring the fact that, for whatever reason, people kept talking about Renard with him. Hank said he had been wearing the same clothes he wore the previous day, so he had seen him for sure, but Nick didn’t really feel like talking to or seeing the man as of now. So the whole precinct was out of question. Adalind? 

Adalind! She was a hexenbiest! She might know what zaubertrank had been given to him! As Nick thought about it, he remembered Bonaparte. The man had been a zauberbiest. Maybe he had been the one to give him a zaubertrank? And maybe, just maybe… Adalind would know where his son was.

“Adalind may know what zaubertrank that is.” He said out loud to Rosalee. She seemed surprised by the idea. Badly surprised, if her scowl was anything to go by.

“Hm, doesn’t she, like, detest you? Why would she help you?” Rosalee asked uncomfortably, making Nick’s heart drop. “And even if she didn’t hate you and would help you, do you have any way of contacting her?”

Sure enough, when Nick checked his phone, he saw that he didn’t have Adalind’s telephone number- which he sadly hadn’t been able to memorize yet. He carefully avoided the pictures.

“What about that friend of yours? The jägerbar?” Rosalee suggested.

“Who?” Nick asked with curiosity.

“The cute one, young, curly hair? Whose father is a lawyer and whose mother was still into the Roh-hatz thing? You said he always helped you in your cases.” Rosalee said as she once again went to the bookcase, trying to find other books that could be helpful.

Nick remembered the case. It had been one of the first cases in which he had needed to be a Grimm to solve. Or at least that he had been a Grimm to help him solve, who knew how many wesen he had arrested before he found out about them. He could not remember the name of the family. And hadn’t he arrested the guy? He thought that only the father had been left out of prison. 

Reflecting on it, Nick sat back on one of the armchairs, absentmindedly watching as Rosalee took book after book from the enormous bookcase, only to put most of them back after perusing them. She cursed when she dropped the one picture of her family with was in one of the shelves.

It was then that it clicked. The picture of the small group in his cellphone! That was the guy he recognized! No wonder he didn’t remember his name, or him for that matter. It had been years since he last saw the boy. He should be older now, probably as old as the guy in the picture. 

Taking out his cellphone once again, he opened that photo, being careful not to look at the others. Sure enough, that guy could be him. Blue eyes, curly light-brown hair, an easy smile, muscular body. Nick felt a burn inside his stomach that he was already used to ignoring. “Is that him?” He showed the man to Rosalee, who had to turn to him to see it. Once she laid eyes on his cellphone, though, she immediately nodded.

“Yes, that’s him.” She went back to her search.

Was he friends with the guy then? Didn’t he threaten to kill a couple, to fulfill an ancient rite or something? Nick found it unlikely. He knew himself, he wouldn’t even talk to a man like that. He normally wouldn’t even trust men in general, much less a guy like that. What was even his name? Grave? Ray? Rape? No, it was not Rape. Rave? Rabe!

“Rabe!” He exclaimed, not too loudly, but enough to stop Rosalee, who looked at him with curiosity. “Rabe, that’s the guy’s name.”

“I wouldn’t know, you haven’t told me.” She said as she turned back to carry a small pile of books to the table in the center of the room.

“It is Rabe, I’m sure of it. But I’m also sure that’s his last name,” Rosalee only shrugged as she move back to the bookcase.

Before Nick could even think about the guy’s first name, his phone rang. Scowling, he took it out of his pocket, where he had just put it back, hoping against hope that it wasn’t Renard again.

His luck seemed to be improving, as it wasn’t Renard, but once he saw the name on the screen, he sat up a bit straighter. Barry was calling him. Barry Rabe. The same guy about whom he had been talking.

“Burkhardt.” He answered, still surprised by the coincidence. 

“Heeey, Nicky!” Said the voice of a male on the other side. Nick cringed at the pet name, but didn’t have time to comment on it. “How about a run to Orly’s with your buddy here, huh?”

The voice was friendly and something else that woke up the butterfly that lived in Nick’s stomach that he had not been able to kill yet (but he knew he would eventually). The petname did not go unnoticed but Nick decided he might as well let it pass this first time. Orly’s, on the other hand, was a fancy-but-not-expensive cafeteria downtown, it sure as hell wasn't exactly the place Nick went to regularly. He had been there a couple of times with Juliette, and it was a nice place, but it always felt too nice to him. And thinking about Orly's made him think about Juliette, and that's something he'd rather not dwell on. 

“Nick?” The voice sounded a bit worried. So Barry Rabe really was his friend then? Did he know where he had been the day before? Maybe Nick could pretend. Fake that he was his friend to get the information. Men weren’t very smart and were deceiving by nature, aunt Marie had taught him. He bet he could fool the guy. Steeling his resolve, he quickly decided on a story.

“Hey, Barry.” He replied, forcing his voice to be calm and deliberately friendly. “Sorry, I was just a bit busy.”

“Barry?” the voice on the other side answered. “And what’s that thing of answering me with _Burkhardt_?” the guy asked, saying Nick’s surname in a serious-but-fake deep voice. Maybe he wasn’t as dumb as Nick had thought then. “Oh, I know. You’re in front of someone, that’s why you have to pretend to be serious, right?” Never mind.

“Yeah. I mean, yes.” Nick said, trying not to laugh.

“Oh, ok, I’ll call you later, then, I-” The voice sounded preoccupied. 

“No, no, Barry, wait!” Nick interrupted. “When were you planning on going?” the Grimm tried to fake cheerfulness, but it didn’t sound very convincing even to him. But if the Jägerbar noticed, he didn’t mention it.

“Well, you know I’m a right-now guy, so, right now?” Nick could listen to the guy’s smile.

“Sure. Meet you there in 10 then?” Nick said, smiling to cause effect.

“See you, then!” Barry answered, brightly. “Bye!”

The guy hung up and for the first time Nick smiled. It was not a nice smile, but a conspiratorial one. He had found a way to find some stuff out. 

When the detective looked back at Rosalee, she was standing there, looking at him. Her face held sad confusion, which Nick ignored. “So, I’m meeting Barry soon. If I find some information out, I’ll give you a call.”

Rosalee only nodded and went back to her books. Nick saw himself out, which was weird in itself, since Rosalee normally accompanied him to the door. He saw Monroe in the front of the store, who sent him a dark, hateful look, which broke Nick’s heart, but not as much as the bruises on his best friend’s face. Still, that would teach him not to call Nick… that.

He left the store and called a passing cab. It was time to meet his dear friend Barry Rabe.


	6. Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I hope there are still people interested in this story. Sorry it took so long to update.
> 
> I dedicate this chapter to my best friend Gaby, who shares this account with me. She's the one who insisted that I made this Nick so infuriatingly annoying, btw. 
> 
> And thanks JollyCat once more for the awesome help. You rock!

It didn’t take Nick that long to get to Orly’s. In fact, he made it there so fast that Rabe hadn’t even arrived. He took a seat and ordered some pastries, deciding he could use the time to eat.

It had been so long since he had last seen Barry Rabe that, when the guy finally entered the fancy café, Nick almost gaped. Despite everything, Nick was able to recognize the man easily. He was definitely han - fit. Had he been that… fit when Nick met him? Maybe he had been working out or something. Those supplement things were quite magical, if they made Barry this-

Nick forced himself to stop thinking. He raised his hand while a small grin and watched as Barry smiled, finally seeing him.

“Hey, Nicky!” The guy said. He didn’t exactly speak too loud, but the care and the emotion the guy’s voice carried, principally directed at him, made Nick feel like shushing him anyways. Despite having managed to stay quiet, something must have shown on his face, because Barry stopped right next the table, his smile dropping a bit. “Oh, alright then, you are angry at me. What did I do?” 

Barry sat on the other side of the small table and Nick let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. Even if this might have raised suspicion, Nick was glad for the fact that Rabe seemed to think the Grimm was cross with him, because he had the feeling the guy had been about to hug him, and Nick most definitely would not appreciate that.

“Hum,” Barry was still looking at him with a depressed concern (if concerns could be depressed) on his face. “Nah, Barry, I just… have a headache, that’s all.” Nick tried to smile but it felt shaky even to him. Thankfully, though, Barry seemed to call himself down.

“Whatever, man, just… tell me if you’re mad or something,” The guy sat across from Nick and picked the menu up with ease. His carelessness made it clear that he was familiar with the place.

For the first time since he came up with this plan, Nick felt nervous. Now that he was in front of Rabe, he realized he didn’t know anything about him. Should he just come clean and tell the Jägerbar what was going on? It seemed something awfully personal and intimate, though. If his memories had been meddled with, he didn’t want to seem vulnerable, principally in front of a man.

“So, what will you have today? Same as always?” Rabe asked with a smile, putting the cardboard menu away and looking at Nick. The grimm almost froze when he realized he didn’t know the menu and couldn’t possibly have a ‘same as always’. Still, he decided it would be better to just go with the flow, nodding to the other guy.

The waitress arrived to take their order and Rabe thankfully ordered for the both of them. The guy shamelessly flirted with the waitress, which made Nick angry at the blatant objectification of the girl in front of him. He decided not to say anything, but it was a close call. 

He ordered an English muffin and soda, and a piece of blueberry pie and something that sounded Italian, but that Nick did not recognize. He wondered what his ‘same as always’ would be.

“So,” have you told Sean we’d come here?” Rabe asked casually as he took his iPhone out of his pocket. 

This time, Nick froze. He was glad that the Jägerbar had been focused on his cellphone and wasn’t actually paying close attention to him. Upon Nick’s silence, though, Rabe looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. “What’s up? Trouble in paradise?”

The expression being used again to refer to him and Renard made him cringe, but Nick was fairly certain that he had managed to keep Rabe from seeing it. 

“What is it this time? Is it work?” Rabe checked his sides before leaning closer to Nick and whispering “Wesen?”

Nick tried to come up with something, but his brain seemed to have stopped working. Before he had to say anything, though, Rabe sighed.

“I hope you guy fix it soon. You know I hate it when you two fight. I can’t say I’m surprised, now, can I?” he shrugged. “Who would have thought, huh?” Rabe chuckled. “A zauberbiest and a grimm, that’s like-”

“Can we please change the subject?” Nick said with his jaw tightened. If this guy didn’t stop…

“Okay, okay, settle down, mini-Josh Tetrick!” Rabe said raising his hands. The jab went right through him, but the shit eating grin on his face only infuriated Nick more. Once more Nick must have shown his anger, because Rabe visibly deflated and dropped his grin. “Jeez, man, what has gotten your knickers in a twist today?”

Nick was saved from answering as the waitress approached the table. Nick thanked whoever was watching from above that Orly’s had a very fast service. Rabe refocused on the girl with a charming smile that made Nick feel hot, because it was a clear sign of machismo and Nick just couldn’t keep himself from being angry. If there was another reason for the heat, Nick was used to ignoring it.

The waitress smiled shyly back to the blond guy, blushing furiously. She lifted the rather large piece of pie, but before she put it on the table, Rabe held the plate, putting his hand on hers. Nick narrowed his eyes as he watched the girl’s blush deepen and Rabe’s smile widen. The plate was finally placed in front of the detective, a clear sign that the pie and the Italian drink, which looked a lot like a latte to him, were his usual.

As the girl was leaving, the sway of her hips artificially larger to draw Rabe’s attention, the guy stared at her butt. “Rabe,” Nick all but growled, effectively startling the guy into looking at him. Nick was sort of surprised with him, as he didn’t exactly see the usual fright wesen showed when dealing with him, but definitively surprise, that quickly turned to anger.

“What?” Rabe asked sharply. He seemed annoyed and angry, and Nick felt satisfied. He knew he should leave it at that but he just couldn’t hold it.

“Stop dehumanizing that girl,” Rabe seemed bewildered.

“Stop doing what?” He looked at him like he had grown another head.

“It’s derogatory. She’s a human being and she deserves respect, not to be treated like a piece of meat to chew on and then spit,” He said, paraphrasing his aunt.

Nick thought that Rabe would get angrier, but the guy’s expression showed him he was about to laugh. The grimm glared at him to express how serious he was. Amazingly, the jägerbar changed. He hardened, his face becoming stony and serious. It immediately reminded Nick of Renard, which almost made him groan. He really did not want to think about the literal bastard. 

Rabe’s expression didn’t exactly soften, but he smiled a little tiny bit. “You know I’d tap that sideways to next week, right?” His voice was a bit detached, void of the previous playfulness. That would have struck Nick as strange, but Rabe’s words made him see red. He didn’t quite repress his snarl, but he managed to hold be the few selected words that wanted to come out to that pig. “Typical cis” was all he said.

Neither he nor Rabe said anything then. The detective in him knew that Nick had screwed everything up, but the feminist in him was glad Rabe had been put in his place. 

Nick took a sip of the Italian thingy and had to suppress a moan. It was one of the best things he had ever tried. Juliette was never a big fan of sweetened coffee, so he was used to either have the bitter coffee they made at home, or the even stronger one from the precinct. And now that he had tried this milky caffeinated piece of heaven, he didn’t think he would manage to go back to that. When he took a bite of the pie, though, he couldn’t hold his moan back. He could definitely make these his ‘same as always’. Nick took another bite of the pie and let another moan escape his lips. It was then that he realized how sexual it sounded, blushing as he looked around.

The coffee shop was still almost empty, thankfully, but Rabe was looking at him with dark eyes that made Nick shiver for reasons he did not care about. Once the jägerbar saw him looking, though, the heated gaze became sour and strangely sad, before becoming cold again. It once again reminded Nick of his former captain, which obviously didn’t help Rabe’s case.

“So.” The wesen said, conversationally, but obviously lacking the previous friendliness. Nick cleared his throat.

“So. Erm. It’s good to see you, Ra-Barry.” Nick tried to seem calm and composed, and he was fairly certain that he had managed it. “It’s been a while.”

At first, Nick seemed to have shocked the guy again, but it might have been his imagination. The jägerbar smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeah, it has been, hasn’t it?” The man replied tersely. Nick had been a detective, and a good one at that, for far too long not to notice the mechanical tone the guy had adopted now. As they silently ate, Nick noticed the Jägerbar ate without hunger and seemingly without tasting anything, hyper aware to whatever Nick did.

Apparently he hadn’t been a good enough actor, then. Oh, well, he had tried. Worse plans had worked before. Soon they were done, not a single word spoken. As they both took a few notes of their pockets, placing them on the table to cover the tab and the tip, Rabe turned to Nick again.

“So,” he repeated again, still too hardened, still too tight. “Walk me to my car, will you?”

Nick refrained from bristling but it was a close one. He nodded and followed the other man out, simply because he did not want to raise any more suspicion.

Why would he walk the man to his car? They were both men, so they were the dangerous ones, there was no need for them to be walked to the car, unless… Unless they were an item. 

The thought had Nick on edge, which made him wary of the other man. He slowed his pace a tiny bit, but it was enough to give them a bit of distance. He couldn’t help but think about the supposed fact that he had a- that he was in a relationship already. Was he cheating then? Typical men. Even he, who had been deconstructed already, wasn’t immune to his gender, then. Nick snorted, thankful for the fact that the other man was apparently ignoring him as they turned to the back of the café, where the guy’s car was probably parked.

Sooner than he expected, though, Rabe turned around, which almost made Nick bump into him, as they weren’t that far from each other. The Grimm tightened his body, waiting for a kiss that would finally, finally end up with Rabe getting the black eye he deserved.

Even if he had been waiting for it, though, as the Jägerbar grabbed him on his arms, his mind froze for a bit. If it was a conscious freeze or not, Nick didn’t want to dwell on. Rabe was rougher than Nick expected, his hands tightening almost too painfully on his arms.

It was only when Nick felt himself being shoved at the wall of the coffee shop that the nagging feeling he had been feeling made itself pronounced enough that he could notice that something was not right. In a second, he noticed there wasn’t a parking lot behind the building. Nick whimpered (which he hated himself for), either because of the stupid mistake he had made or because of the pain of being forcefully shoved against a brick wall. One thing he had to admit: Rabe was indeed strong.  
The Jägerbar growled, his hands tightening impossibly more at the grimm’s arms, which made Nick groan at the pain it caused. For the first time ever since this whole ordeal started, the detective felt a spike of fear. He knew from his aunt’s books that Jägerbars were very strong, and despite his enhanced grimm strength, he wasn’t likely to be able to escape without much fight. The guy probably also understood a lot about fighting, because he used one of his strong legs to hold Nick’s against the wall, effectively preventing him from using them to escape. 

Realizing this all quickly, Nick did the only wise thing he could do. He waited.

Upon Nick’s somewhat anxious silence, Rabe growled again as he shoved the detective against the wall once more. “Where is Nick, you bastard?” 

The Jägerbar’s question startled the grimm, not only because of he asked where he was, but also because of the emotion Nick could feel behind his words. That made Nick really study the man in front of him. Rabe had dropped the façade of cold calmness. His eyes were wild and he was frowning as if he were in pain. Was he… worried? Scared? Suffering?

“What are you even talking about?” Nick replied, mostly to cut his own musings short. “Let go of me!”

Nick tried to wiggle his way out of the guy’s vice-like grip, but that only made Rabe growl and smash the grimm against the wall again. This time it was a bit worse because Nick’s head hit the wall painfully, bringing dark spots in his vision.

“Tell me where Nick is right now!” Rabe whispered through tight lips angrily. “And I hope he’s okay and you haven’t done anything to him, or so help me-”

“I am Nick, okay?” the detective shouted to stop the other guy. An apparent shiver went through the guy’s face, but he was able to hold him woge back. “Now, let go of me. You’re screwed as you are for assaulting a police detective, don’t make this any worse for yourself.” Nick said, deciding to appeal to Rabe’s conscious. The man ignored him, though.

“It’s weird. You smell right, but…” Rabe said to himself, ignoring Nick’s struggle to get out of his grip. The man got somewhat closer, but not enough that Nick could headbutt him, and quite visibly scented him. Nick felt so in shock that quietened down, forcing himself to smother the heat that raised inside his guts because of that simple act. “Yeah, you do smell like him, and even like Renard, but…” Rabe continued, seemingly unaware of Nick’s internal turmoil.

“It’s because I am me!” Nick roared, forcing himself to ignore what the other guy had said. That attracted Rabe’s attention back to the grimm.

“Oh, really? You are Nick Burkhardt?” The Jägerbar said with disbelieving seriousness. “Tell me, then, what did we do together yesterday?”

That’s when Nick realized his main mistake. He had apparently met Rabe the previous day, but he had said in the coffee shop that they hadn’t seen each other for a while.

Nick forced himself to relax, which was difficult, considering his arms felt like they were going to break and there was a man holding him against a wall. Thinking that almost ruined the recent acquired calmness as the heat Nick had felt in his stomach came back, forcing him once more to kill it point blank. What was going on with him? This feeling was so rare these days, and yet he kept feeling it over and over again on this weird day!

“Look,” He said with a sigh. “I am… me, okay?” Nick focused on the guy’s eyes, trying to convey how honest he was. Rabe looked devastated, and Nick couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the man.

“I just…” He felt tempted to lie, but maybe being honest was the best approach here. “When I woke up today, I… didn’t remember things as they are. Still don’t actually.” He felt tempted to run a hand through his hair, but, yeah, his arms were still trapped. “I don’t remember what I did yesterday. To be completely honest, to me, it feels like I haven’t seen you for years.”

“You’re saying that… You have amnesia?” Rabe asked, incredulity obvious on his voice. Despite that, his hand loosed up close to nothing, which didn’t make it possible for Nick to escape but made the pain on his arms at least bearable. Nick nodded, causing Rabe to laugh humorlessly. “And how am I supposed to believe that?”

Nick tried to shrug, but that didn’t work. “It’s not exactly that I have amnesia. I just… seem to have different memories from you.” That caused the grip on Nick’s arms to tighten again, but this time he managed not to whimper.

“You have got to be kidding me. That’s even harder to believe than this bullcrap of amnesia.” Rabe said heatedly. 

“It is the truth, I swear.” Nick winced when Rabe’s hand somehow tightened even more, and Nick was quite sure he was able to feel his humeruses cracking. “You can scent me, can’t you? How could I fake that?” Nick asked with desperation. The pain on his arms was too much and he couldn’t move his legs. 

“Maybe scents can be faked.” Rabe replied with an ugly small smile, probably because he knew Nick was in pain. “But there is one thing I know cannot be faked.” He immediately woged while Nick still watched him. 

Finally, finally, Rabe let go of his arms. Nick fell, his legs not able to hold his weigh in the end. The grimm whipered against his wish, softly caressing his own arms with his hands as he sat on the dirty ground. His arms were probably going to be two giant bruises the following day.

Rabe was watching him with horror, having changed back to his human appearance. He couldn’t say anything, but his mouth still hung open. Neither of them said anything while Rabe watched the grimm with horror and Nick massaged and stared at his arms. 

“Nicky? Is that really you?” Rabe finally said after some minutes. His voice was hopeful, but strained. 

Nick raised his eyes to look at the jägerbar and nodded. Again he felt a weird wave of emotion for the man in front of him as the wesen turned around rubbing his face with his hands. He couldn’t decide if he hated Rabe and wanted to arrest him, or if he cared about him and wanted to comfort him.

“I don’t know if I should be glad that you’re safe or worried that you… that I don’t even know what’s going on with you.” Rabe said, still not looking at Nick. 

He seemed so lost that Nick couldn’t resist the need for comforting the young looking sod. 

“Hey, I’m okay, you know. I just… can’t seem to remember some stuff, that’s all.” Nick said as he stood up. The man finally looked at Nick, watching him warily as he stood up.

“What did you mean when you said that you have different memories than me?” Rabe asked as Nick dusted himself off a bit. The grimm stopped and eyed the jägerbar for some seconds before deciding what to say.

“Maybe we should head back inside. That’s a long conversation and I’d rather have it while I’m sat.” Rabe only nodded at first, but seemed to decide something.

“Ok, but let’s try honesty this time, then.” He added as an afterthought. 

 

“Ok, so, in short words, you woke up, had no idea where you were, everybody treated you different and you were moody as lil’ ol’ Grumpy?”

Nick tried not to react to Rabe, but he couldn’t hold the grin that escaped. The longer he talked to the man, the more he enjoyed his presence. Barry was childish and happy, but he was also intelligent and fair, and his kind of jokes matched Nick’s completely. It had been such a long while since he last sat down and talked and joked around that Nick hadn’t even realized how much he missed this.

“Wow, Nicky, I mean…” Barry looked at him with an expression that was too close to awe for Nick’s liking, but he felt there’s little he could do about that. “I recognize you, man, I mean, it’s totally you there, but, at the same time, you’re so…” Barry prolonged the ‘o’ before he decided how to finish his sentence. “…different.”

Instead of saying anything, Nick took another sip of the caffeinated nectar they served there. Mochaccino. It was his third was and Nick was definitely making it his usual. Definitely.

Suddenly, Barry snapped his fingers, almost making Nick drop his cup.

“That’s why you were acting the way you were, then!” Barry’s expression was one of glee, as if things were finally making sense to him.

“What do you mean?” Nick asked with an eyebrow raised.

“You know, the way you behaved as I was talking to Dany.” The jägerbar said matter-of-factly.

“Who?” Nick frowned, confused and a bit angry.

“The waitress. Dany.” Rabe watched him before he sighed as Nick continued confused. “When we first arrived here, the waitress and I kept on flirting with each other, remember? You said that I was ‘dehumanizing’ her.” Rabe finished with a snort, which caused Nick to stare back at him sourly, completely unimpressed. The wesen only raised an eyebrow.

“You know, Dany? One of my childhood friends? The girl to whom I first told I was gay?” Rabe’s condescending tone was grating on Nick’s nerves again, and his confession didn’t exactly help.

“No, I don’t know.” Nick replied darkly. Rabe seemed to stop for a moment.

“Hum. Yeah, shit, sorry.” Rabe ran his fingers through his hair. “Man, this is weird.” Nick only nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, a loud buzz startled them both. Nick immediately scowled. Renard had already called him twice. Nick had never imagined that the man just could not take a damn hint. Then again, Renard was a man. An (arguably) half monster man, granted, but a man nonetheless, so not taking hints and feeling entitled was second nature to him.

This time, though, it wasn’t Nick’s phone but Rabe’s, who picked it up happily. “Hey, Sean.” Nick’s stomach dropped. He just couldn’t handle talking to Renard right now, the mere thought of having to deal with the zauberbiest made him sick. “Yeah, yeah, he’s here with me.” Barry smiled as he spoke on the phone. His smile dropped as he saw Nick’s dark look as he shook his head. “Hum, why don’t I tell him to call you? I-” Rabe frowned as he stopped to listen. “…no, no, man, I promise you- Sean, listen, I will tell him.” Another half minute of Barry only listening. “Yes, I understand. Of course I will. Don’t worry, man, I’m sure he’ll come around.” Rabe looked at Nick sourly before nodding. “Yes, ok. Just relax, okay? Yeah, see you. Don’t mention it.”

Rabe put his phone away and stared down at Nick, his gaze judgmental. Even though he didn’t look away, he didn’t say anything, which, after a couple of minutes made Nick start squirming. “What?” Nick asked snappishly.

“Is there any reason you’re ignoring Sean?” Rabe asked without beating around the bush.

“I have nothing to talk to him about, is all.” Nick said with a scowl.

“You have nothing to talk to your boyfriend about?” Rabe asked with an eyebrow raised. 

Nick felt like he was going to either scream or puke. In fact, he was only sure he wouldn’t do both at the same time because he found it humanly impossible. There had been suggestions all through the day, and then there was the photo of the kiss, but having it said like that to him, having Renard being called that to him, made him downright sick. Deep inside his head he started listening to his aunt’s shrieks. 

“Nicky?” Rabe snapped him out of his reverie, which he was thankful for. The jägerbar looked concerned, and Nick had no idea how to deal with that, so he decided to ignore it.

“He… The way I remember him doesn’t make him exactly my friend.” 

“Sean?” Rabe seemed utterly surprised. “How come, you and Sean-”

“That bastard,” Nick interrupted before he had to listen again to something he’d rather not. Rabe’s eyes widened. “tried to steal my family from me.”

The Jägerbar growled so loudly that Nick was surprised he hadn’t woged. He was also thankful for the now-crowded cafeteria that had far too much noise for the man’s growl to be heard.

“I can’t believe you would call him that!” Rabe was fuming, and Nick had to wonder why he had gotten so angry. “You really are not yourself today, huh?” the jägerbar’s previous amusement over that fact had been replaced by frustration. “You’d have kicked your own ass were you yourself.”

Nick had nothing to say to that, so that’s exactly what he did, he said nothing. Rabe sighed loudly, clearly trying to recompose himself. 

“Look,” He continued, exasperated. “I know you don’t remember him, but you have to talk to him. He’s worried. And how will you go home without talking to him?” 

Nick held back a whimper as he looked outside and saw it was dark already, and considering the time of the year, it was quite late. Had he really spent the whole afternoon and the beginning of the evening talking to Rabe? 

“Please, don’t tell me I live with him.” Nick said. He groaned as the other man just scowled angrily. “That’s just perfect, now I have nowhere to go.”

“Other than home, you mean.” Rabe replied heatedly, his scowl deepening. 

Nick sighed and rubbed one his hands on his face. “I’m just… not ready to talk to him yet. I’m still angry at him, even if these memories are fake or something. Talking to him would only make me angrier, and that would only result in a fight.”

Somewhere in the middle of what the detective said, Rabe startled as if he finally understood something quite unpleasant. He let Nick finish before he said anything.

“Maybe that’s it, Nick. Maybe whatever was done to you was just to drive an edge between you and Sean. God knows how many people don’t like your relationship.”

“Any ideas to what was done to me, then?” Nick asked, trying not to sound too eager.

“Sorry, no.” Rabe answered apologetically, which caused Nick to groan. “But I have some friends who might know a thing or two that can help us.”

They sat in silence for a minute before Nick rubbed his face again. Now that he had noticed that it was dark outside, Nick felt tired and sleepy. “Still I’m screwed for tonight. I’ll have to search for a motel to spend the night.” 

That strangely made Rabe laugh. “You? In a motel?”

Nick only nodded, and that made Rabe deflate again.

“You really are not yourself today.” This time the phrase was full of sadness. “You sure you don’t want to call Sean?” 

Nick only shook his head, which made Rabe sigh deeply.

“Okay, then. But I’ll have to call him, is that okay?” Rabe sighed again as Nick only shrugged. “Man, this is way off my paygrade.” Rabe stood up and grabbed his jacked from the chair next to him. “Come on, we have a guest room at home you can use.” Rabe motioned for Nick to follow him before heading to the door without waiting for a reply.

For a couple of seconds, Nick reflected on his options. He barely knew Rabe, but he sort of trusted the guy already, which confused and impressed him. Also, he sure as hell did not have that much money to spend on a motel, even a cheap one, principally considering he was going to have to basically live in one for a while, as he sure as hell wasn’t going back to Renard’s apartment. 

Nick made the only sensible decision he could make and followed the jägerbar outside.

GRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMMGRIMM

Nick still remembered the huge house that belonged to the Rabes. The property was beautiful and the house fit the definition of a mansion quite well, but Nick was far too tired and sleepy as he got there to really appreciate them. Barry’s car was already parked there as Nick had felt the need to make a detour. His last hope had been visiting the apartment he had been sharing with Adalind, but seeing it as empty as it had been when he first moved there was flooring, to say the least.

As he followed Barry inside, Nick remembered a few of the scenes from when he investigated the family. He couldn’t quite remember the house, but he had that eerie feeling that people get when they enter a familiar place. 

He wanted nothing more than take a good shower and change into the clothes Barry had promised him. However, as soon as he and Barry stepped into the corridor that undoubtedly led to the bedrooms, they were met by Barry’s father, whose name Nick realized with horror he did not even remember.

“Hello, son, Nicholas,” Barry’s father greeted them with an easy smile. Nick couldn’t help but feel extremely out of place, knowing he was going to sleep in this man’s house, even though he didn’t even know him. The craziness of the whole thing finally caught him as it downed on him that he probably wouldn’t even have recognized any of the Rabeses the previous night, but now he had spent the whole day with Barry and was going to sleep in his house. And Rabe’s father was completely at ease with that. 

“Good evening, Mr. Rabe.” Nick said shyly. The man only smiled and left them. Barry looked at him with a funny expression on his face, but said nothing. 

Nick finally took his shower and changed into the clothes Barry had given him. He had had so much mochaccino and all sorts of cakes that he decided to skip lunch. As he lay on the comfortable bed on the room, his last thought before sleep claimed him was on his son and how he missed him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. If you can, please leave a comment so I know where to go with this.


End file.
